Dear one, you don’t know people when you keep them in the prison of your past.
Your past has no place in anyone’s present. Not yours and not theirs. The past only exists trapped in the recesses of your mind. And, no, not like a recess on the playground with monkey bars.
That person from your past does not exist anymore. They may not even like your monkey bar playground, maybe they like a water park where they can surf the waves in a wave pool.
Keeping people in the prison of your past locks you out of the present and is you being judgmental dear human.
This creates your pain, your frustration, your loss of freedom. The other person, meanwhile, is living their present drinking beer in Munich at Oktoberfest.
Humans create the pain of judgment unconsciously. Right now, you are judging me, this writing, the sunlight streaming through the window showcasing all the dust particles in the air, and the color red (when I mentioned the color red, it was brought into your consciousness and you formed an opinion about it … aka … judgment).
You can’t help yourself.
Until you do.
So, take off your “past spectacles”, head on over to aisle one in any store in the world, and help yourself to some “present conscious awareness lenses”.
They are free. And bonus! They come in edible packaging. Good for you AND good for the planet.
You just have to reach for that conscious awareness, pick it up, and wear it like a new shiny garment on a bright Easter morning … can I get an “AMEN!” in the house?! Hallelujah, Praise Jesus! (say that last part with a southeastern United States accent … it’s more fun that way).
Who am I keeping locked in the prison of my past? What is this costing me (time, energy, and well-being)? What is this costing that person? Pause and listen for the “answer” from conscious awareness with your Whole Self (head, heart, body).
Keeping people trapped in your past keeps you in drama dear human. The cure to this drama … Curiosity and Questioning Beliefs.
Start with curiosity in self and curiosity on behalf of other people. Test your past through the lens of curiosity to gaze upon the present and check in with people. What are they up to? What matters to them now? Who are they being now? Are they cruel? Are they kind? Do they like chocolate syrup on their raspberry gelato?
The other realm to explore, dear human, is your beliefs that you hold and … here is the really important part …
How you hold people in the prison of your past with the bars of your beliefs.
This is the “deeper magic”, as Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia would say. The deeper magic, dear human, is to … be curious why you hold your beliefs.
First, choose someone in your life where you, when you think of this person, notice tension and strong emotions in your body … ok … got that person in mind?
With that person in mind … take a journey into curiosity of your beliefs land:
All humans have inclinations to hold certain beliefs … What are you inclined to believe about this person? (What do you believe to be “true” about this person?)
Why do you believe this?
Pause here for a moment with this “why” question. Be with it for a period of time.
All humans want something to be true (about all of Life) … As you hold this person in mind … What is it that you want to be true?
Why do you want this to be true?
What if the opposite is true?
Pause here to be in the present moment with that last question and ponder before continuing.
What if your “truth” is not the “truth” of the other person, dear human?
Why is your truth or their truth “bad” or “good” or <add your own judgment here>
Journal on this inquiry. Sit with it for days, weeks, months.
Take action to unlock the prison of your past … for you … for others … for the planet.
When you consciously allow people, when you accept people for who they are in their present, when you appreciate the moment … this is when you release the tension you are holding and take that person off the shelf of your past, dust them off (but not too much dusting on the feet … it kinda tickles), and set that person free into their present.
You reap the benefit of being free of the negative energy you have created.
They will appreciate being free of your past … it was rather dark, dank and deplorable back there anyway.