My Coaching (Phil)osophy

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

About Phil

I grew up in what we call today a "broken home".  As a child, I never saw it that way. I had not learned what "broken" meant. I flowed with it. What else was I to do? We moved around a lot (9 different schools in 12 years). My mom got married 4 times. 4 different family systems. Our family split between 3 households when I was 5 years on this planet. Each split created a new family system. 

What I want you to know, dear human, is that none of us are "broken". You hold the answer to any "problem" you have ever experienced.

Often left alone, I got into a lot of trouble according to my family system at the time. When my oldest brother would "watch over" me he ended up putting me in a hole in the ground as a "prank". One time I wanted to figure out what matches do and oops - I lit the tree on fire outside the family home. I was 4. The house was fine (in case you were wondering).

Who leaves matches lying around where an inquisitive little boy can get his hands on them!? Of course I played with them! Silly adults. Don't leave matches lying around! And teach me what they mean without burning my fingers! (Yes, that was the "lesson" my step-father deemed "necessary").

We humans form the essence of what life "is" from our experiences. As children, we form our "truth" (beliefs) from every experience. We create ways of navigating life.

We form inner motivations that drive us to shelter and protect ourselves from early "storms" in Life.

Our experiences teach us something. The problem is, no one teaches us how to make sense of what we learn in being a human having those experiences.

We learn algebra but not the calculus of human.

I spent many years in "how to figure it out". That journey took 4 decades. And In those decades I discovered my "flowing with it" was a way of making sense and coping with life. "Flowing with Life" is a great quality to have. But I used it in a way that kept me small and made others small. How I kept me small was as a pleaser to avoid conflict. And I made others small as someone who judges people who are "mean" because they create conflict.

My journey was (and is) to understand how to use my ability to "flow" in service to me AND in service to the world.

 


And that is where coaching comes in. We each do our own "how to figure Life out". We each grapple with: Why is it so hard? What makes it easy? Why do I create drama in my life and others? Why don't I have the results I intend to have?  

I know why. But that won't matter to you. I help you discover your answer to your why.

You already hold the answer in you.

How we do this is by being in the space of wonder. We sit and ponder your questions such that you find and create your Life through your answers.


 

How I coach is developmental. You unpack your hidden motives (underlying motivation) to take control of the impact you have. These are lessons that would have been super useful in primary school. My role is to reflect the "how" of who you are and how you operate. You get in action to shift habits that don't work for you to habits that do. We partner so that you get access to the fire in your heart and activate your longings to live your whole human. Coaching creates the environment to reconcile your longing with your present and future. When we complete coaching, you know exactly "how" you are. And because you know that, you create results that propel your life and leadership.

The good news is you are NOT adding more stuff or things to do. What you are doing is subtracting. You don't need to do anything more. Subtracting is all about removing all the things you thought you were "supposed" to be or were "taught" to be so that you can be your whole human.

The first step is to accept an invitation to discover your hidden motivations by clicking the link below. Book 30 minutes to ponder You. It's a gift you give yourself. From there, you choose. Only You can take decisive action to propel your life forward. Click the "Discover More" button below. I invite you to do so, Dear Human.

Curious?

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